Why I Will Never Get Aesthetic Surgery
Never say never but...yeah, never.
Kind of Wild is a weekly newsletter on trying to live ethically while still enjoying life. I am a 40-something published author, podcaster, public speaker, charity PR specialist and writer. I speak four languages and live in Brighton, UK. I’ve been vegan for over a decade. I want to save the world - but I also want to experience it.
I really, really don’t want to start this post with a disclaimer.
I don’t want to say “everyone is free to do what they want” because of course everyone can do what they want. That’s a given. I don’t want to say that “I’m not judging anyone” because who am I to judge women (or anyone else, for that matter) for simply doing what societal norms have been dictating shouting at us since we were babies? And most importantly, I don’t want to say “there is nothing wrong with aesthetic surgery.” Because, as much as I love and support the many amazing, beautiful women in my life who have had “work done”, I also…well, believe there’s something wrong with aesthetic surgery. And by that, I mean the industry, NOT the people who have it done. See, I ended up doing the disclaimer anyway.
I want to say that I’ve always known that I don’t want to have aesthetic procedures done - ever. But doesn’t everyone say that as a kid? I don’t think any child or young teenager of my generation ever dreamed of Botox and BBLs, yet here we are. Your rebellious teenage ideals are one thing, but the reality of waking up in midlife and finding out that your face or body no longer looks like your own is a whole different ball game. The allure of a quick fix is clear.
When we’re younger, we also often fail to understand the implications of how people - especially women - are treated when they fail to conform to society’s beauty ideals as they age. After all, research has shown that people considered conventionally attractive are viewed more favourably by others, and people seen as “unattractive” face more prejudice. So I totally understand people who resort to procedures because they just want to live in peace, without taking on a battle against beauty ideals in their daily life.
But for me personally? It’s always been a battle I felt strongly about - so strongly that I’m prepared to make my own face and body a testament to it. Ever since I wrote my university thesis about harmful beauty standards up until the end of dyeing my grey hair two years ago, I’ve always raged against the idea that women should (aspire to) look a certain way.
I won’t deny that finances come into it as well. It’s easy and convenient for me to be against aesthetic interventions because I wouldn’t invest in them anyway. That said, I honestly believe I would still have the same stance even if I did have more of a budget to allocate to this kind of thing. Just the other day, after dropping some cash on renting a kayak on the seafront, I caught myself thinking, “I would so much rather spend my money on this than on manicures or colouring my hair.”
None of this is to say that I do not care about my look - I very, very much do. I worked in fashion for years and still do a lot of fashion-related work. I’m passionate about personal style, never leave the house without my red lipstick, and am currently experimenting with heatless curls. Looks for me are about self-expression and creativity. But I’m afraid to say that I see none of this in the world of aesthetic interventions and “tweakments” (non-surgical treatments such as Botox and dermal fillers). The whole industry seems to me to be an anxious manifestation of our desperate desire to fit in, to belong, to…erase ourselves. Your wrinkles, your grey hair, the way your face and body look all represent YOUR story. Your path. Your lived experiences. Surgery is about deleting that and conforming to society’s story. To capitalism’s story. If surgery was about expressing ourselves, it would not lead to everyone looking the same.
You might counter that I’m not exactly above conforming to patriarchal structures, as I do use skincare, wear makeup, and shave my legs - but let me tell you that those things have a much smaller risk of landing me in the hospital. As with any surgery, aesthetic interventions, as well as tweakments, come with risk. From the more extreme - women dying from operations left, right and centre - to post-op complications and dermal fillers migrating, I just don’t feel that it’s worth it. I once spoke to a woman who had a BBL. She described the recovery from the surgery as “horrific”, “hellish”, and “something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.” However, when asked if she’d do it again, the answer was…a resounding yes. I guess some people aren’t as terrified and squeamish as I am when it comes to all things medical, but then many people might not understand just how huge and temporarily life-altering having surgery can sometimes be. Having seen people close to me go through compulsory health-relevant surgery, there is no way I would ever subject my body to that unless absolutely medically necessary.
When I see magazine articles casually mentioning Botox and “tweakments” next to the new season’s nail polish colours, it makes me angry. It’s so clear to me that this industry is about taking fully normal features - small breasts, hip dips, a big nose, a small bottom, thin lips, wrinkles - and positioning them as a “problem” in order to then sell a “solution”. It is about CREATING issues for (primarily) women in order to make money - while putting the clients at risk of complications, infections, and potentially death. It makes me RAGE. This is exactly why I didn’t want to say “there is nothing wrong with plastic surgery” - this is what I believe is wrong about it. If you feel insecure about anything to do with your looks, ask yourself, “who profits off me feeling like this?”
And then, there are my ethics. The intersection of veganism and aesthetic surgery is complex. As with any medical procedure, aesthetic surgery and its components may sometimes require animal testing in many territories. While it is in my opinion completely vegan to have necessary surgery or medical procedures that help your health, animal testing for procedures involved in cosmetic surgery is akin to animal experimentation for shampoo and mascara. In my view, it is contributing to animal abuse for nothing except vanity - unless you are one of the people for whom this kind of surgery is completely essential, such as breast cancer patients, trans people, burn victims, and more. If this is you, then I think you can book your appointment and still call yourself vegan with no qualms.
But if you just want a smooth face, keep in mind that hundreds of mice are still used daily for Botox testing - just to make an example. Here as well, we must remember that Botox isn’t only used for crow’s feet: botulinum toxin is used for a range of conditions from migraines to muscle spasms, and if I were ever to need the shots for any of these health reasons, I’d definitely go ahead (but I imagine that the wrinkles on my forehead would, in this case, stay intact).
Sometimes I think about the fact that my future entails me having to deal with being the only woman (person?) I know who hasn’t had anything done. I’ve never thought of myself as particularly beautiful, but realising that ten years down the line I’ll probably be considered weird-looking is somewhat alienating. Already now, we are so used to seeing women’s faces and bodies being smoothed out and pulled taut that sometimes my friends comment on people looking “old” when in reality they look absolutely natural. We’re just not used to natural any more. But a part of me is sort of proud of flying the flag of “natural” for the rest of my life. Not being considered conventionally attractive is a price I’m willing to pay.
Also…I just don’t want to have any of this done. Nothing about it appeals to me. Maybe that’s the real reason. It’s not about “resisting temptation”. There is no temptation.
I want to end this post by reminding everyone that it’s okay to stand against something. While we must be respectful of our fellow humans, saying out loud that you oppose a harmful industry is not wrong. I fully stand by all the people in my life who have had aesthetic surgery and tweakments, and I’ll always support their choices. They have full bodily autonomy and can and should do as they please with their bodies. But that does not mean that I approve of, respect, or support this damaging industry built on giving people insecurities they would otherwise not have, all while tormenting animals for experiments. And it’s okay to say so! I will never be quiet about things I believe in, even under the guise of “supporting women”. It’s much more supportive of women to actually highlight the harmful structures that underpin this predatory industry.
So, there you have it, the truth from your favourite grey-haired wrinkleface - I’ve ranted enough for one week, so now I’ll go outside and enjoy the sunshine while it still lasts!
I agree! I won't lie, as someone who has always been baby faced and often gets told how young I look, I do get nervous about aging and how I'll feel when the signs are more obvious. But I just don't think it's for me. I hope individuality will somewhat return rather than this Kardashian/Instagram face that makes everyone look the same.
There’s something deeply grounding about the way you choose to honor your natural self.
In a world constantly urging us to erase our stories, your words remind me that every wrinkle, every change, is a chapter worth keeping.